The Messy Ones

My desk is fucking messy. All of the time. Even after I clean it, I still think it would qualify as a car wreck- and that's being polite.The same goes for my closet. And my room. And basically everything in my entire life. 

Strangers may come into my space and think, "How the hell do you find things?" or maybe they'll try to fix it, or even clean it for me. Dear God. Whatever you do- Please. Don't.
Don't be misguided- Just because YOU can't find something in MY mess, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. There is a method and a flow to my disorganization, and to my unique eye, my unique mind, it all makes sense.
I've always had a strong belief that you should walk into a home and know exactly who lives there. It should speak volumes about the character and the personality of the people who inhabit it. I don't mean the best side of that person or the most "instagram worthy" angle.
No- a home is all aspects, all points and edges, painted out in the placement and condition of your pots and pans.
Your space is a physical embodiment of your mind. It should be the place where you can relax and think freely. Your ideal space should motivate your thought process, and never ever distract you from the task at hand. It is but an extension of your mental highway, and should always be changing, moving and adapting as you grow. It is comfort. In whichever way you perceive and define that word.
This is the difference between a house and a home.
For us, the Messy Ones, this may or may not leave our house looking like a pig-sty. It may or may not leave our life looking like a huge lot of tangled twine.
Please don't ask us to change. Either find the path we've made in between the scores and dance shoes and hand-written scribbles, or kindly exit left.
I think that most creative/artistic people tend to be... messy. We're messy in the most literal manner, but also with the way we handle life. A good lot of us are "big picture" people, and the smaller details can sometimes fall to the wayside. Sometimes we don't handle relationships with the best of care. The big picture is "I love you" but sometimes the details, the tact that seems necessary in everyday life, gets lost in the shuffle. 

Here is all that I ask: If you are lucky enough to have a Messy One in your life, try to see things the way that we do. Understand that we won't always bring you flowers. We will always remember your favorite meal. We won't always say "I'm sorry", but we will always show you. We won't always say "I love you" in so many words. But we do. We love you in the best way that we can. We just ask that you try to love us too.

xoxo- a Messy Girl 

My Mary Poppins Carry On

How To Cram Two Month's Worth into a Carry-On

I'm semi-famous for my ability to pack an entire wardrobe in a carry-on. It's my own magic power. Ever since I was little, I used to cram my backpack or purse with everything I could possibly need in case of Armageddon. You just never know man, you need all of your bases covered. Hiking? Covered. Church Gig? Covered. Hippie smoke out? MY RAINBOWS ARE READY.
"You won't be able to fit all that in". Challenge accepted motherfucker. And yes, she really did say that.

I'm going to take all of this stuff... and put it in that little orange carry-on. 

In case you can't take it all in at once, My packing list includes:

• 4 Dresses (2 maxi, 2 regular)
• 2 Maxi Skirts
• 5 Pairs of Shorts (3 Running, 1 Denim, 1 Bike [for under skirts])
• 5 Pairs of Leggings (3 Athletic, 2 Casual)
• 3 Cardigans
• 1 Running Jacket
• 5 T-shirts
• 10 tanks (5 casual, 5 workout)
• 9 bras (7 Sport, 1 Convertible, 1 Strapless)
• 1 Bikini
• 2 belts
• A Scarf
• And a Slew of socks/undies

Let's go team!

Okay, so I kinda lied. We're not taking ALL of that. We have to pick something out to wear for the airport. I'm choosing a thin maxi, a thin tank and a thin scarf. It's drafty on the plane, and hellacious upon landing, so we have to cover all our bases here. Let's put that aside.

Also, just so I don't get comments later, I did buy QUITE A LOT while I was here, and I'm taking a lot of home made jam home, so I do have all of my new stuff and shoes in another bag that I'm going to check in.

So I'm cheating a little bit. Sorry.


 Ok, moving on, here we go.

Roll. It. Up.

The real secret to my methods is rolling-clothes, not doobies. Though that might make packing more fun. I might try it sometime. Back to rolling your clothes- this method prevents wrinkles, and compacts your clothing into the smallest amount of space possible.
I'm going to show you how to do it on a variety of different articles of clothing, and then cramming it all in is super easy.
Start with your densest clothes, and work your way up.

Here's how you do it:


1) Lay it flat. Smooth out all the wrinkles to the best of your ability









2) Fold it in half lengthwise, again smoothing it out as you go.











3)Fold it again, this time horizontally.










4) ROLL THAT SHIT.

Look at you go young grasshopper, we will make you a packing ninja soon enough. Sensei will teach you all.

Now just do that a billion times. Yeah. Just like that- into nice, neat, clean little units. Doesn't that make your little OCD heart flutter with joy? Wait, is that just me?
Okay, cram those into the bottom of your case, and move on to the second densest thing- In this case, my dresses/skirts.
Here we go, same drill, tiny alteration:

1) Lay it Flat

2) Fold it in half, hot dog style.

3) *PLOT TWIST* Take that little tail bit, and fold it in until you have some sort of rectangular shape.

4) Fold it hamburger style.

5) ROLL THAT SHIT! 

I really think this could be like a game show catch line. Like, this is the literal sequel to Baggage. I'd be an awesome host, just saying.
Okay, cram that crap in too. Same side as the leggings.
But there's no way you can do that with an open cardigan. No way.
TRY ME BITCH. (Sorry, packing is a very aggressive situation for me, it take some muscle to cram all this in, if my cursing bothers you, we probably can't be friends. Bye bye.)
LEHGO.

1) Lay it out all pretty. Side-note: I'm in LOVE with this cardigan. I just wanted to proclaim that to the world. 

2) Aww, let that little guy give himself a hug. Right over left, or left over right if you're an anarchist like me. (JK, Hillary 2016)

3) Make it do a crunch.

4) SUSHI ROLL, BABY. Meh, not as catchy.

Okay, so repeat that whole procedure with all of your sweaters/jackets/tees, and cram it in. This should fill one side completely. If you have the little stretchy belty things, buckle that on up, it needs some restraint like Brittney circa 2007. Still love ya Brit.
Take your tanks, and apply the same principle, filling the other side of the suitcase.

Look at how neat and cozy that is!

Now what do we do with this???

Oh Shit. What about my Panties??
Not to fear, you can roll that shit too. Also, don't ever use the word "panties" again. Makes you sound like a pervert instantly.
So I'm going to show you how to fold all of your undergarments, starting with (sorry) panties.
I'm using my bikini bottoms, because it makes me feel better for some reason? It's the exact same thing, but western civilization dictates that one is naughty and one is a-ok for the public eye.
Don't pack these yet, roll them, and put them aside.

1) Lay em out like a bad guy in a Chuck  Norris movie. 




2) Right Hook.







3) Left Hook. 




4) Now here's the different part- take the groin bit, and tuck it into the waist band. Up and over. You've got this man, I believe in you. Tadahhhh, you've got yourself a burrito.
The same tuck and roll works for your sport bras too.


1) Lay it there on its face like a chalk outline.









2) Aww HUGS. 



3) Waist band up to the bunny ears.






4) Tuck em in. Done. 

Pair and roll your socks like you normally would. Not rocket science there.

 So for bra-bras, I just folded one cup into the other. My bras are only lined, not padded, and I would caution you against doing this if you have padded bras, because folding it inward is sure to destroy your crazy-expensive over the shoulder boulder holder. (Victoria's Secret, I'm looking at you). If you LOVE your bombshell, and HAVE to bring it with you, lay it flat.
LAY THESE IN BEFORE YOUR OTHER UNDERGARMENTS!
To keep the cups from getting crushed, stuff the inside with socks and undies.



Your socks, undies, and sport bras, should all be pretty small and compact. Roll up your belts into tiny swiss rolls, and make them itty bitty too. Cram those in wherever you see a gap. Just wherever. Go crazy.

LOOK AT ALL OF THE GLORY!

DUDE YOU DID IT! VIRTUAL FIVE BRO!

 Zip that mother up and you're ready for your flight.
*This does take a little bit of elbow grease, so drink a protein shake and GET AMPED*

 DONE!
Enjoy your trip! 

Or don't, I don't know your life.

Bai Basics, I'm outta hurr.